I want to join the Anti-Social Network

Confession: I don’t like Facebook.  I tried.  Well, I haven’t tried a lot…but I do pop on from time to time, and, well, I just don’t like it. Problem #1:  I am generally anti-social.  And, when I do have something to share, it’s usually sarcastic, which is better shared one-on-one, not broadcast to the world (or to my 23 friends).  I mean, I’m often grumpy and sarcastic, but I still want people to like me, right? 

So there’s that.   

And Problem #2: what word can I use in this blog? Can we say crap? OK I don’t like all this crap that is on my Facebook page. Where did it come from? Did I put it there?    

People are always sending me things and ok, maybe that’s fun, but in order to actually see what they are sending/ waving/ throwing/ gifting/ writing-on-my-wall I am forced through some multi-step process of accepting this unknown application before I even see what it is. So of course I uncheck all the boxes. No you cannot access my information (oh? So then you won’t let me play? FINE!), no you cannot put a box in my profile (what does that even mean?), maybe I’ll let you put a link in my left-hand navigation, because I am a fan of links…but I think I might have too many links so can I decide later?…well if I must decide now then NO to the left-nav links, no you can’t publish stories in my feeds, and why do you need another link below my profile picture, didn’t you just ask to put one on the left…isn’t that enough? 

So, I get through all of that and already I’m crabby from saying ‘no’ so many times.  And then I see all my “friend’s” pictures and now it wants me to send this unknown thing that I haven’t yet seen to them?  It’s like those pesty “forward this to 10 friends within 60 minutes and you’ll have good luck” emails?  So now I’m carefully reviewing this and unchecking all my friends names and looking around, ok now how do I find my ‘free gift’ or thing that was just thrown at me?  Sometimes I give up at this point, so if you threw something at me that you wanted back, I’m sorry, I lost it.  Just today I accidentally found a bunch of my outstanding invitations – seven zombie/vampires and some walls that I don’t understand yet, and some compares.  My “friends” must hate me for not accepting their vampire bites…but I’m sorry that just scares me…… 

All right, I paused this blog exercise and attempted the fun wall…I believe I may have accidentally sent something stupid to all of my “friends”.  Brings me to Problem #3 with Facebook.  Everything is so hard to use that I have a fear of accidentally spamming my friends with crap (see problem #2) which means I am fearful to type anything or press any button or check any box.  

So mostly I just log on and look at my friends pictures from time to time. I’m too lazy to always scroll down (unless it’s during a Recruiting Team status call) so I just mostly see the “B’s” (I don’t have any A friends for some reason).  So I see Ravi and Louise and Meg (and maybe Mark and Klaus if I scroll a bit…but sorry Vivian and Christine, I rarely get down to see you) and then I log off. 

That’s all I want – to log on, see my friend’s faces and log off.  The Anti-Social Network.